Pregnancy Test
Wednesday, July 21, 2010 at 2:54PM Want to know the fastest way to give your husband a thousand gray hairs? Tell him you need to take a pregnancy test. 98% effective!
All right, here's the thing: Rory is nearly a year old now and I am STILL waiting for my "monthlies" to return. I knew that with nursing it may take longer than usual to come back, but I thought that by now it would have at least given me a hint it was coming back, like a cramp or a raging case of PMS or something. But no, nothing.
And then, THEN, one afternoon I was flipping channels trying to find something for interesting background noise while Rory used me as her personal jungle gym, and I come across this show called "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant." These women had no idea they were knocked up until they were having horrible stomach pains, went to the hospital, and found out, oh hey, you're in labor! WHAT THE FREAKING WHAT?!
I was horrified! A tiny, 90 pound woman showed absolutely no signs of being nine months pregnant? Never felt ANY kicks or movement? Never got an enormous belly? HOW?! By the time I was nine months pregnant there were random objects being pulled into my orbit. How do you NOT KNOW?? AHHHH!!
So obviously, this got me thinking about my lack of cycles, and wondering if I was unknowingly with child. What if one day I got a stomach ache and sat down to take a relief-dump and crapped out a baby?? It was weighing heavily on my mind, so I voiced my concerns to my loving husband, whose eyes started bugging out of his head and he basically told me, "Do what you have to do, I'll just be over here removing my eyelashes one by one."
One pregnancy test later, my worries were put to rest. Negative!
Unless, wait, what are the accuracy of those Dollar Store tests...?
Brittany |
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